Adam Litwin, MD, is now anxiously awaiting his chance to become a real doctor.
After graduating from St. James University in the Caribbean in 2018, this is the second match cycle Litwin has entered to vie for a position in family medicine.
While his hope and anxiety are shared by other residency applicants hoping to match this week, Litwin has taken a much different path to getting there.
More than 20 years ago, Litwin disguised himself as a resident physician at UCLA, and was .
Now, proclaiming that he is reformed, Litwin hopes that his dream of practicing medicine becomes a reality -- especially in a year when the pandemic has brought a dire need for healthcare professionals.
On Monday, Litwin, 48, was notified that he did not match via the National Resident Matching Program (NRMP) this cycle. But he's entered the Supplemental Offer and Acceptance Program (SOAP), and hangs onto hope that he still has a shot.
"I am where I am today because of second chances," Litwin told 番茄社区. "In 20 years, I've never needed a third."
Early Inspiration
Litwin said he made the decision to impersonate a physician all those years ago because he was blinded by his love for medicine.
"Have you ever wanted something so badly in your life, but you knew you were never going to get it?" he said. That desire to become a doctor, he claims, was the reason why he made the choice in the first place.
One of Litwin's formative experiences as a child was observing his grandfather, a podiatrist, operate on a fractured metatarsal.
"My grandfather took me into the operating room when I was 9 years old," Litwin said. "After my grandfather did that, I knew there was nothing else I ever wanted to do with my life."
In high school, Litwin said he read Harrison's Principles of Medicine and Sabiston's Textbook of Surgery "cover-to-cover." He studied biology, anatomy, and medicine -- all outside of class.
He studied pre-med at St. Louis University. The institution offered co-internship opportunities for students to shadow physicians and even interact with some patients. Those early clinical experiences, Litwin said, solidified his dream of becoming a doctor.
"After that, I was hooked," he said. "I loved being in the hospital."
Living a Lie
When the clinical work he did in college came to a close, Litwin started to feel depressed. School work became increasingly difficult to focus on, and he eventually dropped out. That brought him to the San Fernando Valley in California, to stay with family and receive mental health treatment.
Despite dropping out of school, Litwin's love for medicine remained strong. He started going to UCLA's medical library, where he continued studying. He read medical journals and research publications, absorbing any material he could about general, vascular, and cardiac surgery. Litwin dreamed of one day becoming a surgeon.
After spending a couple of months at UCLA's medical library, Litwin became a familiar face. Someone mistook Litwin, then 26, for a resident physician. Litwin didn't correct them. Eventually, he put on a white coat (which he received from a pharmacists' conference years earlier), and entered the hospital.
Litwin chatted with other residents and attending physicians. He had lunch with providers in the cafeteria. He entered the residents' lounge with a key that he had stolen. He wrote prescriptions under the name of a physician with the same last name. Litwin observed medical procedures, and answered the questions that attending physicians often quizzed their residents on.
He kept up the charade for about 6 months, according to California prosecutors.
"I remember never being happier than I was when I was at UCLA," Litwin said. "As time went on and I became more immersed in it, it became harder to detach from that reality."
When Litwin talks about his decision to impersonate a doctor, he is shameful. He told 番茄社区 the choice was "stupid" and "ridiculous." But he maintained that he never touched a patient during his time at UCLA, and that the only person he hurt was himself.
Given his grades and his unfinished undergraduate degree, Litwin said his choice to impersonate a doctor at UCLA was a look into the future he'd likely never have.
"UCLA happened," Litwin said, "because I never thought I would ever be a doctor."
Dreams Derailed
Litwin's masquerade did not go on forever. A medical supervisor at UCLA grew suspicious, realizing that Litwin accomplished few tasks and was constantly hiding his ID card under a hospital meal ticket. In addition, his white coat -- which carried a printed photo of Litwin and his name -- was different from that of all of the other residents.
"Nobody had a coat like that," a deputy city attorney . "It was like he was trying to be noticed."
Litwin was charged with impersonating a doctor, forging prescriptions, trespassing, and other misdemeanors, according to the Times. A year later, he pleaded guilty to the impersonation and forged prescription charges, as well as to a charge of stealing state property. Litwin was sentenced to 6 months of psychiatric counseling, as well as 2 months in jail.
"That was easily the rock bottom point of my life," Litwin told 番茄社区. "It took me a while to grapple with the magnitude of what I had done."
Litwin attended therapy sessions for longer than the court-ordered sentence, he said, for his depression and narcissistic behaviors.
Second Chances
After his time at UCLA, Litwin took some time to rethink his life path. But he never gave up on his dream of wanting to become a doctor. He worked with his grandfather at a medical consulting firm, and helped him use telemedicine.
He talked to friends and family members about still trying to become a real doctor. "I never lost focus of my dream," he said.
He petitioned the court to expunge his record. Then in 2012, he enrolled in the St. James School of Medicine in the Caribbean. During his second year of medical school, he took the first of his U.S. Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) tests. But his past came back to haunt him.
Before he impersonated a doctor at UCLA, Litwin was caught shoplifting. When his lawyer asked for a letter displaying good character, Litwin forged one, stating that he was the head of the National Board of Medical Examiners (NBME). Then when the UCLA investigation started, police officers uncovered this letter, determined it was fake, and sent it to the NBME to keep on record.
When Litwin took the Step 1 exam 15 years later, he got an email from NBME administrators. They asked him about the letter.
Litwin was called to the board headquarters in Philadelphia. He pleaded his case, and they allowed him to continue pursuing a medical license. But there was one caveat: the NBME would print a notation about Litwin's irregular behavior at the bottom of his USMLE transcripts.
While he was disappointed by the board's choice to mark his transcripts, Litwin was also overjoyed that he could pursue his medical license. He finished medical school in 2018, passing all four Step exams.
Litwin applied for a family medicine residency position in 2019, but did not match. He remained open with residency directors and programs about his past. But the notation on his USMLE transcripts, he believes, has limited his ability to score interviews with residency programs.
Following the last residency cycle he applied for, Litwin applied for an assistant physician license in Missouri. The medical board denied it; however, he has reapplied in case he does not place in a residency program this year.
Litwin now awaits his SOAP results to see if he has one more chance to become a physician. In the meantime, he'll continue working at the company that he set up in 2018 to help rural practices with telemedicine, or maybe one day try to become a doctor outside of the U.S.
"The last page of my story," he said, "certainly hasn't been written yet."